How to be a Pirate
by June Odyssey
Summary: The pirate problem is getting worse. After an attack they rescue prisoners of the pirate's, and one gives the Berkians crippling inside knowledge. Maybe now they have the upper hand... or have the pirates been one step ahead the whole time? Hiccup goes missing, the pirates have an enormous fleet, and Toothless and Hiccup learn a few things about being separated. Mild Hiccstrid


**How to be a Pirate**

**Chapter 1 – The Pirate Problem**

This is Berk.

It's the most brightly colored island you'll see in the Barbaric Archipelago. We have racing, pointless displays of Viking strength, and a nice view of the stars at night. The only problems are the pests. No! Not the dragons! While most people around here deal with irritating family relations (*cough* Snotlout *cough*) or breakfast thieving Terrible Terrors, we have...

"Pirates!"

"Sound the alarm!"

"Get the riders!"

"They're goin' for the ships!"

Most people made peace with the dragons after I killed Red Death.

Not the pirates. You see, they decided to keep hunting dragons around their island, with too much of a grudge to let go of the past. They picked a fight with the wrong dragons.

"Raise the torches!"

"On it, Chief!"

"Get those Gronkles to light them, Fishlegs!"

After a clan of Monstrous Nightmares and Changewings burned their village, the fire spread to the forests.

The island was left in ash. All these vikings had left were their ships. So now they're pirates. And they've targeted Berk, the most dragon friendly island around.

"Stop them!"

"Load the catapults!"

"Where are those riders?!"

"Here, Chief!"

"Astrid, get those riders in the air and get down there!"

We've been at each others throats for months. They're sneaky enough not to attack head on. Either that or too cowardly. Their ships are fast. They get in and out quick. We don't know where they're hiding because they only come in small numbers on the darkest nights.

"Where is Hiccup?!"

They made us an offer. Go back to slaying dragons and they'll leave us alone.

"Someone get my son and his Night Fury down here!"

But we're vikings. We have stubbornness issues.

"There he is!"

"Thank Odin!"

We will never give in.

"Grab your weapons!"

"To the docks!"

We will keep fighting.

"Fire brigand, get ready!"

"Loaded, Chief!"

And by Thor's Hammer, whatever it takes...

"Vikings and dragons, ATTACK!"

"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

… we will win.

* * *

When the alarm bells started ringing, Hiccup and Toothless shot up and awake in perfect unison. Hiccup threw off his thin blanket and grabbed his riding harness from the floor where he'd dropped it a few hours ago. He didn't need to attach his prosthetic, though. Ever since the attacks started Hiccup had taken to sleeping with is on. Not comfortable, no, (it left bruises) but necessary. Toothless slept with his harness and prosthetic on too. Both hated it, but they wasted precious time putting them on during an attack. Those pirates were fast.

Hiccup didn't stay still as he pulled the harness over his head. Instead, he followed Toothless to the stairs, fastening the buckles in the dark with practiced fingers. Toothless jumped down the stairs, gliding a few feet to the door. Hiccup skipped the stairs as well, grabbing the rope that hung from the ceiling and sliding down. He ignored the sting of a mild rope burn and limp-ran after Toothless, who had already pulled open the door by a huge door handle Hiccup had installed for him.

They didn't bother to drag the door shut behind them. Hiccup swung himself onto Toothless's back and as soon as the night fury's keen ears heard the click of Hiccup's prosthetic into the pedal, he shot up into the air. Hiccup clung to the edges of the saddle and pressed himself into Toothless's back as they climbed straight up in the air.

Leveling out a few hundred feet above the village, Toothless angled his wings so that they were gliding on a downward slope toward the docks. Since it was a cloudless night the two had a clear view of the docks. Fishlegs and his group of Gronkles had successfully lighted all the torches from back in Berk's dragon-fighting days, illuminating the pirate ships in the harbor.

Hiccup could hear the Berkians shouting, his father ordering, and dragon roaring below. He heard his name too, but he didn't respond yet. Instead he scanned the harbor and took in the situation.

"Okay, bud," Hiccup said. "Looks like we have three pirate ships, the usual. Looks like they're going for our ships though. Good play, but it'll slow them down."

Toothless grunted his agreement.

"Alright, Toothless, looks like they're being pretty straightforward," Hiccup told him. "Let's get in there."

Without hesitation Toothless obliged. He tucked his wings in and they dove straight for the docks. The wind whistled in reply to Toothless's own signature sound. The glow from Toothless's open jaws shone a foot out in front of them as the sliced through the air. They were dangerously close to crashing (not that they ever would) when Toothless snapped his wings open and shot a fireball at the nearest Pirate ship.

At once shouts and screams rose from the ship, followed by the sound of water splashing on the burning sails. These pirates weren't stupid. They had their own fire prevention system that was exceptionally fast.

Astrid zoomed past on Stormfly and the nadder coated the side of another ship with the hottest fire known to dragonkind. Some of the fire reflected off some nearly fireproof shields, but the edge of the ship caught fire. With a mighty yank two pirate pulled up by ropes a huge sheet that hung over the side in the water, effectively dousing the nadder fire.

"FIRE!" one of the pirates roared.

Four catapults obeyed the order. Toothless nimbly dodged a lucky shot, and so did the other dragons. Except one.

A dragon screamed, and without looking Hiccup recognized the anguished sound of a nightmare.

"Snotlout! Fall back!" Hiccup ordered. "We have it covered!"

Hiccup didn't look to see if his cousin complied. He shifted his weight and leaned left, directing Toothless toward the third pirate ship that had been unscathed for far too long. Two successive blasts toppled the mast. Try splashing water on that.

"FIRE!" came the command for a second time.

This time a hoard of invisible arrows sprang from the boats. Most bounced harmlessly off the dragons hides. One pierced the soft skin on Barf and Belch's underbelly.

Screeching the zippleback turned at their riders urging and fled back to Berk. A few adults were firing from the backs of their dragons, but they hadn't trained for this and could not do much by way of directing. Still, a few lucky shots gave the pirates a few things to worry about.

"Astrid!" Hiccup called. "Get low!"

As Astrid swooped down to fire on the middle of the decks where they were more likely to cause lasting damage, Hiccup and Toothless directed themselves toward the next ship and shot its mast down as well.

"CATAPULTS!" a pirate screamed. "UNLOAD!"

A fresh wave of rock flew far past Hiccup, Toothless, Astrid, and Stormfly. It smashed against the docks and downed a few dragons who were firing long-range.

"ARCHERS!"

"Come on, Toothless," Hiccup said. "Let's damage a couple of those weapons."

Toothless dived down low and loosed a continuous stream of fire into the catapults on the pirate ships. Arrows whistled through the air and one knocked against Hiccups fake foot.

"SOUND THE HORNS!"

Wait, what?

A massive blast permeated through the air. Then another. Then another. Soon all anyone could hear was the deafening sound assaulting their ear drums. The dragons especially cringed and wobbled under the invisible attack. Most squawked or roared and fled back, trying to escape the pain and confusion. Toothless wasn't as effected but he still winced and tensed.

By the time everyone had gained their senses and equilibrium the pirates were gone.

"Let's go, bud," Hiccup said, not bothering to check for the pirates. They'd be long gone by now. Nonetheless Stoick would send out a couple of nadders and Astrid to check. But they probably wouldn't turn up anything.

The two turned back, and flew to the top of the cliff that led down to the docks. Hiccup slid off Toothless's back and winced as his prosthetic pulled tight against the bruises it had created, deepening them so they would take longer to heal. Toothless shook his head a little, like he was still trying to dispense the sound of the horns. Hiccup didn't blame him. He was too.

Quickly locating his father, Hiccup made his way over. "Dad!"

Stoick turned to see his son. "Hiccup."

"Any injuries?" Hiccup asked breathlessly.

"A few," Stoick growled. "I can only hope we're doing more damage to them than they are to us."

"If they weren't so hard to find, we could mae sure of that."

Hiccup looked over his shoulder to see Astrid jogging over to them, Stormfly trailing her. "Aren't you supposed to be trying to follow them?"

Astrid huffed. "I sent the others to go ahead, but I doubt we'll find them. They're good in the dark and somehow seem to know our shores better than we do."

Stoick sighed. "We'll send out more scouts in the morning, Astrid, but we're getting low on available people. The catapults are making sure of that."

"I don't suppose there's any defensive wall we can put up to stop that?" Astrid said, a tinge of hopefulness in her tired voice.

Both Hiccup and Stoick shook their heads, and Hiccup replied, "No, wood might slow them down a little bit but their catapults are strong and have good thrust. They'll break through the wood too easily to give up our advantage of mobility. Any other material would take too long to construct."

"It would stop the arrows," Astrid pointed out.

"They aren't doing much damage up here," Stoick said. "But we should get are contact dragon riders their own defensive."

The chief motioned to Astrid's arm which sported a long red cut Hiccup hadn't seen.

Astid glanced at the wound. "I'll talk to Gobber about it."

"Oh and Dad," Hiccup said. "I think we should set up a watch schedule. I know we're a bit short on warriors and they won't see too much in the dark but we need all the forewarning we can get."

Stoick nodded. "Do it then. But make sure you two get some good rest. You can get to preparations tomorrow."

The two teens nodded, and Chief Stoick the Vast walked away. Hiccup sighed and let his shoulders droop. These late night attacks were starting to get to him. They hadn't become more frequent but they were continuous enough to wear him.

"Hey, sleep in a little bit," Astrid told him. "You look like you need it and there won't be any more attacks for at least a few days."

Hiccup only nodded in assent, too tired for words. He gave Astrid a quick peck on the cheek, murmured a good night, and headed back up to his house with Toothless in tow.

* * *

**A/N: I have not forgot The First and the Only! The next chapter is coming along! But then I had this plot bunny...**

***sigh* this was probably a really bad idea, I need to update old stuff not upload new stuff but... Ah I couldn't resist!**

**Review? *givesToothless'spleadingeyes* c'mon, nobody can resist that!**


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